Deciding what to do with your child’s belongings

Whatever you do with your child’s belongings, be prepared for them to hold very strong emotions. Your child’s precious belongings may bring you comfort and happy memories. However, being surrounded by these items every day could be small and painful reminders of your child’s absence. Be careful that they don’t just end up triggering your intense feelings of loss and pain. It’s normal to feel sadness associated with your child’s things but this needs to be balanced with positive associations.

It’s also important that you don’t hold on to them for the wrong reasons. You have to give yourself permission to let some things go – it doesn’t mean you are letting go of your child.

When you are ready to let go of things, you might want to recruit people to help sort through your child’s belongings, be it friends or family members. These might be people who are good at organising, or who you feel can help you to make important decisions.

Items can be left where they are, stored away safely or given away to people or charity shops. You may like to ask siblings, grandparents and close friends if they would like something to remember your child. Perhaps your child asked you to do something specific with their things.