If you don’t want to talk

Don’t feel obliged to get into a conversation that you don’t want to have. It’s fine not to want to talk about dying. 

Explaining why

If someone tries to start a conversation you don’t want, acknowledge what they’re trying to say, but explain that you don’t feel like talking right now. You could suggest another time when you might feel ready to return to the subject. You may feel angry – if so, try to remember they are most probably doing it because they care. 

Communicating in other ways

Remember, talking isn’t the only way to feel connected: sometimes a hug, holding hands or even just sitting with someone for a while can be very comforting. 

You might not feel like talking, but it can help to open up about how you’re feeling. This could be with someone close to you or you might prefer to talk with someone in your care team. 

You might want to use this section to help communicate some of your thoughts. You could save particular pages that you relate to in particular and, when you are ready, you could use them to start a conversation with your parents, partner, extended family and friends, about how you are feeling and what you need. 

Reviewed September 2015. Next planned review 2017.