Treatment not working

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little _lady's picture
little _lady
Treatment not working

My daughter was originally diagnosed with Neuroblastoma in 2004. She has fought hard all these years. However in 2011 I suffered from a breakdown and struggled to cope. Social Services took her into care. Where she has been ever since. Because I never fully recovered from the breakdown. Last year my girl was diagnosed with secondary cancer around her tongue. Surgery removed the tumours along with part of her tongue. I can't recall the type of cancer this was. However, it would not respond to chemotherapy. Radiotherapy was given over 40 days. Then she underwent a further operation and 10 more pulses of Radiotherapy. Unfortunately, this has been unsuccessful and there is nothing more that can be done to save my beautiful daughter.
Due to the breakdown I suffered from the court quashed my parental rights. I still get to see my little girl. However, I want to be with her when the dreaded time finally arrives. What can I do about this?
I've suffered from mental health issues all of my adult life and really don't know what to do. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you.

little _lady's picture
little _lady

It's been 11 days since I originally posted my daughter's heartbreaking story.
I was hoping that someone would reach out to me. Sadly though, this hasn't happened and the loneliness I am feeling is unbearable. My partner is trying to remain as strong as he possibly can to support me. However, I still feel alone. I just want to be with my little girl. Especially at the end. I want to hold her hand or in my arms. I want to kiss her and tell her how much I love her. However, it feels like we're being pushed aside. Surely, even though we no longer have parental rights we should given the tragic circumstances be allowed to have as much quality time with our beautiful little girl as possible. It breaks my heart leaving her after our weekly visit. I haven't eaten properly in so long I don't remember the last proper meal I had. I can't sleep. Instead I lie in bed crying. Some nights I cry myself to sleep, other nights I don't.
Can anyone out there please give me some advice. I'm extremely desperate and feel like my depression is coming back, ten fold. Any advice would be appreciated as o have no idea how much longer it will be until my beautiful, precious daughter will no longer be here xxx

little _lady's picture
little _lady

Sadly our beautiful little girl gained her angel wings on 6 May 2016.
To say that we are devastated is an understatement. I've never known sadness like this in my entire life.
We are still trying to come to terms with the devastating situation we find ourselves in. I don't know if we will ever totally accept that our precious daughter is no longer here. My heart is broken.

liam_clicsargent's picture
liam_clicsargent
Hi there little_lady

I would like to extend my deepest sympathies for the loss of your daughter, this must be an incredibly difficult time for you.

This Forum is currently inactive and so we apologise for the delay in replying to your message. It may well be that you’re able to find more prompt and useful support currently at the Macmillan forum, which can be found at this link: http://community.macmillan.org.uk/

If you have a CLIC Sargent care worker, they may also be able to provide some guidance.

Our bereavement webpages may also be useful: http://www.clicsargent.org.uk/content/bereavement

With very best wishes,

Liam The CLIC Sargent Digital Team