Friends

Mate expectations

If you’re not around, you may feel you’re missing out. Your friends may be out shopping, playing football, planning parties and not inviting you. Do you think they’re going behind your back?

They’re more likely to be worried about upsetting you, feeling guilty that they’re able to do those things. They may also be feeling worried, confused and scared about what's happening to you.

Take the initiative and come up with ways to stay in touch. If you don’t feel like talking, try text, email, or social network sites like BEBO and Facebook. Or invite them round to your home or the hospital, but warn them what to expect.

Your friends are likely to have lots of questions and, unless you're super-human, you probably won't feel like answering them all the time! We've put together a factsheet for friends that gives answers to some of the most common questions. So if you're tired of being asked "Can I catch it?" or "Why have you lost your hair", download it and give it to them! Or use it to refer to when answering their questions.

Making new friends

You’ll probably make lots of new friends in hospital. People with similar experiences, who understand what you're going through.

You can also swap stories and share tips on this website, and keep each other smiling.

Dating dilemma

If you are seeing someone, lots of things may be running through your mind: will they dump you now you’re ill? Are they only sticking around because they’re sorry for you? Are you unattractive now? Can they give you the support you need?

The only way to find out is to have an honest conversation with them, to say how you feel, and to ask them how they feel. You may not get the response you want, but hopefully it’ll be a good place to start communicating.

If you don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend when you start treatment, when and how to tell new people about your cancer may be on your mind. How will they react? Will it put them off? Have you been ill for so long you’ve forgotten how to talk to someone you fancy?

All you can do is give it a go. If they don’t understand, maybe they’re not right for you anyway...